"Reader, I married him."
And so, it begins. This beautiful little journey of ours.
Out of the first 10 days of our marriage, I was sick for about 7 of them. But all I can feel for that is grateful, because I have someone there to take care of me and rub my tummy and scoldingly tell it to "be-have".
Last night I spent several hours making dinner, cleaning the kitchen, grocery shopping, cleaning our bedroom, vacuuming the carpet... and it was the most win-win situation ever, because I thought it was a domestic blast, and JD thought I was the best wife in the history of wives, which, he is more than welcome to think that if he wants, even if he's wrong.
Our wedding day was... blurry. I was sick, of course, and could hardly walk, I ended up with more to do right at the end than I'd planned on, and wanted to kick myself for that. Then I was late to the temple, when I'd promised myself I would not be. JD was pacing when I got there, later, he said not because he was worried that I was late, but just because "I was getting married." Every groom needs a few minutes to do an I'm-getting-married pace. I completely respect that.
The ceremony blew my mind. If you have never been to a temple sealing, just trust me on it. I was completely blown away, and further evidenced in the sealer's having told JD just after "take her to a sealing soon. She was so into you, I don't think she heard a thing I said there at the end."
Guilty as charged.
JD ended up with a bloody nose just as I was ready to exit those doors with him, so I had to wait. I think that was the most nervous I felt all day. We were already married, but I was waiting, and hoping that he was OK. And does a woman ever forget the look on his face when he first sees her in her wedding dress? I hope I never do. There should be a natural safeguard against that, a special spot in my heart where that is written, not to be soon set aside.
Taking photographs in the late afternoon sun, over at "Walden", trying to take it all in, even though I know that is not even possible.
The reception was a dream. It was perfect. Having so many people who have touched your life, walking into that room, and the feeling of overwhelming gratitude. It is indescribable. Other things went wrong, but they ironed out. Things always work out. That is what I told JD's Stake President the Sunday before the wedding. He said that if I really believed and lived that, then I pretty much had life figured out.
And I've been thinking about that lately. Having things figured out. It is a cliche that brand-spanking-newly weds always think they have it all figured out.
But don't they, in a way? That pull that the newness gives us to be tender, to be kind and loving and understanding always. That pull doesn't last forever, but if we listen to it, it is teaching us something. If we listen to it, it is saying,
Being kind and loving and understanding always will not come easy for long, at some point it will become a decision, no longer automatic. Until you have decided long enough that it becomes automatic again. Be kind. Be loving. Be understanding always. Things will work out.
So, with an eye looking forward to many more mornings of "I know it's way out of your way, but I left those important assignments on the table, can you bring them by the store for me on your way to work?" and evenings of "I had to leave the staff meeting early, because my wife was sick" I will get back to life. Real life, though it doesn't feel completely real yet. I will make it so. It will be so, and I will live every last drop.
