Ok. Here goes. It has been a great deal of time since I last wrote, and for that, I apologize.
Now that I've got that over with, time for the soap box. I will not beat around the bush, I will come right out and say it: skinny women have feelings too.
I know, it's hard to believe. I know that it will come as a shock to many, but it is the truth. Pure and simple, and I will not lie about it. *winking frantically (seizure emmenant)*
This is honestly something I've been planning on writing about for awhile, not because I think my thoughts are going to change the world, or ensure that people stop making inappropriate comments about weight; because, well, frankly, they won't (we're all just human, anyway). I just think it's an interesting phenomenon, and I want to write about it.
That being said, I don't feel like I need an explanation from anyone about "why" people think that they can say whatever they want to a person about their body, as long as they're "skinny" (if this is somehow news to you, society pretty much tells us a lot of weird things and gives us very strange criteria for judging others--yep, got it. That conversation is OLD news) but isn't it weird, just how hard it can be to see how easily we can hurt others by saying things without thinking them through first?
I have always been thin. It's just ME, a part of the way my body works and runs. Capisce?
But here's a scenario (one that has happened to me countless times).
I am in a group of women, talking, and somehow weight gets brought up. I immediately fall as dead silent as possible and do everything I can to avoid brining attention to myself. It does no good. Inevitably, no matter how quiet and unobtrusive I am, someone turns to me and says, "Well, you don't even know what we're talking about. You don't even need to watch what you eat, or exercise."
Say WHAT?!?!?!!!???!! My doctor has TOTALLY been lying to me! He keeps saying I need to watch what I eat an exercise, but it turns out-- I DON'T?!?! Gee, aren't I lucky? (Someone should be whistling the tune to The Andy Griffith Show in the background of this paragraph.)
Ok, how dumb is that? Of COURSE I need to watch what I eat an exercise. I am a PERSON! People need to do those things in order to be healthy physically and mentally. End of story.
I will say that I'm not necessarily OFFENDED by these comments (I don't really consider myself to be one that offends easily--if you know me and disagree, sorry?) as much as they just . . . make me feel awkward, and not good enough, and like I don't fit in. Sound like someone else? Oh yeah, everyone. Human beings will always find a way to make others feel that they don't fit in, the method can just be more subtle sometimes.
I was recently at an event with other women when the conversation arose concerning a relative of one of the women (the conversation got started because someone was telling me that I needed to eat more than I was, for whatever reason) who is thin but eats a lot. The words, "It's disgusting" were worked into the conversation, as well as the phrase, "She's one of those people where you just want to say, 'Do you even exist?'"
Weeeerrrrrrrgggggggghhhhh KRNK! *car crash-type noises* "Do you even exist?"
Cue me awkwardly laughing and looking down, hoping the subject will change (though actually being kind of glad that those words were said when the issue was on my mind, because it was an interesting specimen of a conversation for this post.)
The conversation didn't offend me. It just made me feel sad, and awkward, and like I didn't fit in, or needed to change somehow to be more like others. That's really lame that people have been taught over and over again that it's OK to say things like that, as long as it's a reference to someone being skinny.
I have a dream . . . that one day it won't even be necessary to make any social-setting comments whatsoever on weight because we'll all just be OK with who we are personally, and we won't really have the time or energy to worry about how other people look or what they do or eat. Maybe one day.
