And There I Knew that...Everything Would be Alright...

Anyone reading this blog thus far (sadly I have not written nearly as often as I was supposed to) will undoubtedly notice that there are several references made to the music of Death Cab for Cutie. This may come as no surprise to people who know me, and especially to those who know that of the 22 songs that are currently on the "soundtrack of my life" (that has yet to be given a proper title) 4 of them are Death Cab songs. What can I say? I appreciate when artists (as all musicians seem to be called nowadays) actually have something of art in their music.
But I must apologize, this post is not about the band or its music as much as it is about a thought that a line from one of their songs sparked in me and has continued to burn in the back of my mind for some weeks now.
The song is "Grapevine Fires" and the line "And there I knew that it would be alright, that everything would be alright" is used in the song to describe the moment in which seeing something outside of ourselves shows us that things are going to turn out in our own lives. In the song, it is a specific image and a specific situation; but that line has ignited a thought process in my mind that seems to crop up in moments of severe frustration.
For example, This morning. I was walking to my Latin American Literature class in which I knew that Dr. Cluff was going to be giving an exam. As I was walking, I was feeling a feeling that can best be described as incredibly flustered. The day had begun a little too early in order to allow for more study time, and it seemed as though not much had gone according to plan. As I walked, I tried to review the last few notes I had scribbled on the back of a sheet of paper (which notes I had been studying all throughout the Physical Science lecture, instead of listening to poor Dr. Allred!). The information seemed to be being blocked by the frustration I was feeling, and the things I was yelling to myself inside of my head: "Jose Hernandez, NOT Fernandez! Get it straight, Katie!". A line of black ink on my leg was the outward manifestation of an inner throbbing, resulting from an encounter with an unruly and uncapped pen. Even better than that, one section of my hair was a little shorter and frizzier than it should have been, due to an unfortunate hair dryer incident while I had been trying to hurry.
With all of these thoughts rattling around in my head--the exam that was beginning in five minutes, the damaged hair, the drawn-on leg-- came an overarching dread of the future, and the questions 'why hurry to class? Why take classes at all? Why are you graduating so fast? What are you moving on to? What do you think you're accomplishing with all of this cramming and rushing?" I was trying to force the questions down with more noble thoughts, but not much was helping. I rushed past the other students in the courtyard of the JFSB, hoping that nobody noticed the ink mark, the frazzled hair, the mismatched jewelry combo, the fact that I hadn't shaved my legs in 24 hours, or that my shirt was too big for me. I was hoping that it would not permanently cripple my grade to not yet have memorized the information scribbled on the study guide, and that I would be able to write clear essays in Spanish.
Then something made me look up. I don't remember now what it was. It may well have had something to do with cursing the sun for being so hot, or wishing that it were raining, or wondering if a bird was about to poop on my head, since such a happening really would have added to the moment. As I looked, instead of seeing a bird, I saw a cloud. The cloud was fluffy and white, and it would not bring the rain I wished for-- but the cloud was moving; moving mindlessly past the deep blue of the sky. I couldn't help but think about all of the days that make up a life, and how many of those days are filled with things--THINGS!!! And how many times a day do I think about just enjoying? It was a beautiful cloud, and a beautiful sky, and there I knew it would be alright, that everything would be alright.
I've often thought about the advice to "simplify" our lives. We are always being told to simplify. Well, what happens when life can't be simplified? I am not currently participating in any activities that aren't fundamental to my life, so there isn't really much I can cut out. Maybe simplifying doesn't always mean 'cut things out', maybe sometimes it means 'look at something simple and revel in its beauty.'
Drop your guard for one moment, and let the simplicity of something outside of you show you that everything will be alright.